Saturday, 7 June 2008

It hit me like a sledgehammer

Sitting my lard ass down I managed to get hold of the basic stuffs of Photoshop. It wasn’t as intimidating as I thought, and the next step towards this new skill is to add another skill to it: learn how to create GIF animations. I am dying to create a nice little animation from the stills of Inuyasha. Another animation I would like to make is rollover buttons, but if I can make the Inuyasha-cartoon type of animation rollover button should be no problem.


Like I blogged about previously, I like to hold “conversations” with my “friends”. During one of those “conversations” I kept talking and talking and this train of thought just came, I came up with a conclusion that I never thought about before.

I used to be real good in maths. But thanks to Mr Ng, he took away my passion for maths and I never found it again.

I used to come home from school, and I’d turn on the radio and sing, and that was some kind of a daily therapy and ritual for me. But since going to uni, where the dorm rooms are badly soundproofed, I can’t sing as much as I wanted to. And plus, I had a room mate and I had to think about her. So no therapy at the end of each day.

I used to have a bunch of friends whose “aerial” was on the same frequency as mine. But I only can contact them thru the internet and phone now, and we have our own lives.

I used to stay at home, be with my family all the time. And I had to venture to Selangor on my own and eat shitty malay food all the time. [y’all be nodding your heads now in agreement, I know]

I found refuge in the internet, and I lost myself in there. I spent too much time there. I have to limit myself. Due to too much of internet, I neglected the novels that I used to love to read so much.

When I worked, I used to love to go window-shopping and just LOOK at the beautiful shoes on display [Joyce *wink*]. But now no money and no time. You might ask what money has got to do with it since I only window-shop. There is a big difference, like how Joyce and I discussed. When you have empty wallet, window-shopping only makes you wanna buy EVERYTHING in the store and when you have the money the first thing you do is go blow the cash on those things and when you get back home you find that nothing fits and it didn’t look as nice as you fantasised it to be thus the utter disappointment and utter waste of money. But when you have money to shop, you end up picking this, picking that, very bloody picky you become. And then you end up buying only the things you desperately need e.g. shampoo, pad, razor and you end up NOT buying anything that looks shiny to you thus saving the money in the process. Of course there’s the occasional exceptions where what you think is shiny and beautiful is what you actually need. But now no money and no chance to go hang out at malls doing window-shopping [I DO go to malls with Mr Bf but no window-shopping because men’s shopping mode is “I know what I want to buy and I buy it and then chow” so I don’t do the slow browsing coz he might fall asleep] I find myself to desperately wearing shoes that are on the way to seeing the Light.

I realised I am actually quite a boring person and kosong now, except for my studies which I kinda neglected, but am chasing to catch up with this sem; my blog, to which I pour my feelings; and also my personal life. I find myself clinging on to these too much [except for the studies I neglected], and I am so big of a NOTHING right now.

I need to find a new hobby, a new passion. In a nutshell, I need to GET A LIFE. Get something to hold on to, to fall back on. I am glad I still insist on keeping in touch with old school friends, because I find myself having trouble keeping the new ones.

Zam zam alakazam please let me stay put to my passion and not have san fen zhong re du. And, reminder to self: STUDY, BITCH.

I have never done anything with moderation [thus me being so larded]. It’s time to learn MODERATION and put it to practice.


Shitty ass la. My left thigh is bigger than my right one. I feel it every time I wear my pants. Shit shit shit shit. How can!!!!! I feel so asymmetrical. Bloody hell. And one of my foot is bigger than the other. Problematic when I want to buy shoes, you know?


sleepy said...

OMG.. I feel exactly the same way about my Bf. Gosh.. Wat's with guys and shopping? Like yesterday, i was bored so i told Bf, i wanna go "shopping" (i.e. window shopping cos i'm broke at the moment). He answered unwillingly YES, but followed me nonetheless. At the mall, i told him why don't he just go to Borders while i run thru the mall. haha.. But nope, he wanted to tag along. Mana tau, rite after we left Borders, he says he's sleepy le, but still wanna follow me walk. Sighs.. How to shop like tht? Wanna walk, but feel bad for him. I think this is a guy's tactic to avoid shopping u know?? haha... I want to go shopping with a girl!!! With u rojak!!!! When u coming to Penang?? hahaha.. =D

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