Sibeh Random

I always have silent conversations with myself. Try to understand myself. But I never come up with a conclusion.

I have silent conversations with my friends [they’re in my head, just]. Try to understand them. But I end up with my narrow and often erroneous view of who they really are.

I try to figure out what has happened to the world. I leave myself with more questions than when I started.

I try to guess what people think of me. Because outside does not equal inside. My own evaluation of myself might differ from what I project to the world. Somehow I think people always think the worse of me.

I keep thinking of what have happened that made me who I am. Maybe I should I think more of what I should do to make myself who I want to be.

One part of me argues that I can let go of things easily. The other part argues that’s not letting go, that’s running away when things get tough. Need a third opinion, but so far my mind is only messed enough for a split to two.

Want to actually WRITE a diary everyday. But I’m too lazy and I have bad handwriting. If I could draw well I might have started one long ago. That way I can also draw scenarios. I’m just a comic artist without the skill to draw.

I like songs that fit my thoughts or my situation at any moment. I like my feelings to be reflected in music. And it’s nice to know other people feel the way I do, at some point of their lives.

My favourite quote at the mo. “Always love. Hate will get you every time.”

The weather is crazy. It rains, but never long enough to be cold. Always cool for a while, then it’s back to crazy hot weather. Am I right to think whatever talks of sustainable development, stopping global warming blabla is too late? End of the world is near, that’s why they have all this superheroes movies coming out recently. Hancock la, Ironman la, Superman la, Spiderman la, Fantastic Four la, Batman la.

Death Note’s ending sucks. Kira should have won. But of course, every story’s ending is that the good guys always win.

We are so small in this big big world, and yet this world is so small that whatever happens between people, it always happens to people in your circle. It’s a bloody small circle. For me, at least.

My laptop heats up so quickly and so hot nowadays, I have half the thought to attempt toasting a slice of bread underneath it. Maybe melt some cheese on it. Then I’d have a perfect breakfast.

I wish I am a musician. I wish I knew how to play the guitar macam pro. But until that day comes I shall watch people play.

My grey hair problem is getting out of hand. And I always confuse the American and British spelling of GRAY/GREY. Because I am so anal with the use of British English in Malaysia.