Wanna know what I did to deserve this title?
I killed [or almost killed] a centipede approximately 8-10cm in length.
Serious shit, I did.
I was actually hanging out in my room at around 4am, having sorta like a personal mini concert to all moths and ants that bothered to listen, and then this venomous fiend gatecrashed my gig.
Of course I jumped at the sight of this thing la, who wouldn't jump facing a centipede!!! The last time which was also the first time I ever saw a centipede was back in Form 3 [I think] when Hema and I, out of boredom, dug thru some old rotten wood and found little cute centipede babies that looked as though they glowed in the dark. But this one was like a magnified version of a silverfish [that lil bugger you find chewing thru your old books], and it was huge for me.
It crawled towards my roomie's [she wasn't in] table, and got under it. I used some papers to sweep it out, but it didn't work. Threw the papers one side, and used the batang of the broom to knock it unconscious. The badass creep finally came out from under the table, and I used the leg of the chair to stop it moving. I thought the weight of the chair would break it in two, but I was sorely mistaken!!! That bugger was still thrashing vigorously, even though it was in this state.
To show the size...
Like I said, the chair thing didn't work, and I was afraid it might be able to wriggle itself free. So I used my big tong of water to give it some hell.
Apparently it didn't work, because it was still thrashing.
What to do, what to do? I thought of the biology project that we did in Form 6, of collecting the insects and killing them before baking them dry to be specimens. I immediately thought of chloroform, but hell, I don't have any chloroform with me. Hey, I'm not a psychopathic rapist, ok? The nearest thing to alcohol I had at that moment was my hairspray. *TING!!* [lightbulb shines] Geared with my newly bought hairspray, I decided to waste some of it to knock that bastard out. So I sprayed with my heart and soul and jiwa and raga, crossing my toes hoping it'd be dead. But hell, THAT BADASS WAS STILL MOVING AS THOUGH I'D TICKLED IT WITH A FEATHER. FUCK IT.
Hairspray didn't work, hairgel leh? Hairgel mebbe can freeze it place once it dries, eh? I then grabbed my roomie's bottle of gel and squeezed globs of gel onto it. But WADAFAK man, it's still moving!!!!!!!!!!
But whatdehell la, I left it to smell the hair products for a while, and when I came back, I saw that it didn't move as much... So I thought, "heck, why not throw it out now while it's out cold." Removed the chair, and *JENG JENG JENG*...
Took a piece of paper to round it up and call it a day. The paper thing didn't work too well, because I couldn't scoop all the gel that was holding it down together with the bugger, and the moment it got disturbed by the movement, it started moving again. Chair, please.
After more gel and gel, dragged chair along with the centipede on the floor, and left it outside. Used the broom to sweep it far far away from my room, ran back and locked the door. YUCK. I hate creepy crawlies. Kanasai.
But I admit, I kicked some serious butt. Hehehehe...
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