New Year Approaches....

I have not much expectation for the new year, just wish I could be happier than I did this year.

The new year brings a new semester, which is also my last.

I'll be graduating soon, and I still haven't found my direction. What do I want? Stay in KL? Go back to JB? Stay in science field? Venture into another field? Be a researcher? Go work?

The end of this year is quite a terrible time for me...

I'm not the only one facing the same problem, and when I realised others are going thru the same thing, the only thing I had done was harden the fuck up and be their shoulder. And now that everyone seem to be moving on, I am still stuck with me emotions that were left undealt with. And yet now I find it hard to open up and talk about it. Why? I dono. It's either I like to emo alone, I don't trust people enough to tell them the story, or just because I find it tiring to retell the whole story. I am more inclined to think it's the last reason, because I tend to cry if I talk about it, and I'm sick of crying.

I thought I'd be more tortured if I told the truth. But it seems, I feel a little better now. At least I am not carrying this secret like a ticking bomb anymore. It's out there. I don't care anymore.

And the person who cares the least is the one with the most power.