Saturday, 13 September 2008

Bitchy!!!

Reading J's bitchy post today got my bitchy hormones running to a great height, so I'm gonna blog about cheenafied Chinese.

I am going to offend a lot of people, but this is my God-honest opinion [I can swear on the Quran if you don't believe me].

And credit to J, for inspiring me, and lending the word "CHEENA" to me.

First of all, the most prominent thing about these Cheenafied boys and girls, is the way they take pictures. And from this point on, let's just refer to them as Bengs and Lians, ok?

So, Lians. They pose with their face tilted downwards, or with their camera high above their heads. I think Guess, Guess, Guess the Taiwanese show taught them this method la. This was supposed to shrink fat face, and make the eyes look bigger. And the most important things that musn't be forgotten are the "V" signs and the POUT. They CANNOT live without the pout. Any photo with not enough poutiness is considered a bad photo.

It's mostly the case of acting cute, and looking doe-eyed, as though they are very innocent. If they are doing so to look good enough for the opposite sex, I wonder who are they trying to attract. Paedophiles?

For the best examples, go to Friendster [most Bengs and Lians use that, so far haven't found one Lian on Facebook other than the ex-Convent Lians but they aren't the conventional Lians I'm talking about here, so Imma focus.

If you still don't know what type of photos you'd be looking for in Friendster, these are some examples.

Sample photos:
  
Pout, check. Tilted head, check. Eyes peeled open, check.

 
Not pouty enough. But funny hand gesture, big eyes, tilted head, check.

 
This is very typical of an ah lian attempt at a decent photograph. 

Above are the ones I found by Googling. See what I find on Friendster.
 
Typical Lian again.
 
 
No pout but the others are all aligned. And you know what the caption for this photo was? "Hey, hey." Don't ask me!


As for the Bengs...
I'm so hot, baby. NOT!

 
I've always hated Gay Chau [Gay Busuk] and his "music". This disgusted me more.

Seriously, Friendster too many these type of guys. They do the pout and everything, macam girls onie. YUX!

Ok, this is the father of all BENGS. He maybe not be the EPITOME of Bengs, but he's getting there. Shitty coloured and overgrown hair, check. Eyes too small but tried to enlarge anyway, check. Stupid pout, check. BARF.

That day I was eating dinner with my friend and her friend joined in. I could tell her friend was the typical Cheena type because
1. She said "zoo" the same was pig is pronounced in Mandarin. That is very typical of them cheenas. Any sound of "z" is pronounced as "j". Eg, Zack = Jack.
2. She didn't even understand when my friend said "terung" (brinjal). I had to translate to Mandarin her her.

See, the thing with cheenas is that their Mandarin is kampong Mandarin, and their BM and English could make Mr. Pokerface fall apart. ['Nuff said.] So they are always hanging out with other cheenas, coz only the cheenas understand their Mandarin, and they can't communicate with people of other races.

One thing that would never change about the Bengs since I understood the meaning of Bengs and Lians, is that they never changed their hairstyle ever since 1998. That was 10 years ago, and the Beng society members still sport the same hairstyle. Why, bengs, why?

And the Lians? Straightening their hair was the "in" thing to do. That made me not want to straighten my curvy, wavy hair which was a bit hard to manage. They made me LOVE my hard-to-manage hair. Coz I swore I'd never be like them. And now that the perm is "in", they perm their hair is swarms. And more often than not, it's the most unnatural perm ever seen on earth.

Here's one example of the Lian perm.
 
Had to distort her face because it's someone I know la.


Non-Lian perms, which I like very much.
 
Loose perm is the most natural way to go, man. But as Asian hair is tougher than Caucasian hair, and cheenas often have straight hair to start with, this type of perm doesn't last long. But it's beautiful and therefore worth it, damnit!

This is hot!

90's and early 2000's ah lian could've opted for this type of straightening [why do they need it in the first place, their hair is already straight!] but NONONONO, they went for the Amanda Bynes look. URGH.

The western Lian.

The cheena hair, the cheena face mentioned. Very cheena right? But what's worse is their sense of fashion, of lack of thereof.

For me, the best combination in the world [I don't care if it doesn't look good on me, this look rox, damnit!] is the white top [tank top, t-shirt, wutever] with jeans and preferably a pair of high heels.

Look at these stars for a general idea
 
Bootyonce.

Cameron "Belching-Queen" Diaz

Michelle "Georgi" Trachtenberg. HOT HOT HOT.

Other combinations with jeans.
Hot boots.

The white top and jeans combination was in my head ever since I was in Form 3. How early I did start!

The Lian style ironically, involved denim too. But jeans are often matched up with CHEENA tops from cheap shops or pasar malam which is worth around RM5 but

 costs RM10-15. And these always have some Engrish splashed all over them. For a better understanding of Engrish, please no krik hear.

Example:
 
The same person la. Hehehe...

The bengs I can't find pics la. I'm more angry at the Lians so I have a lot to blog about them lol.

Yes, I am bitchy that's why I don't have friends in campus, but bitchiness ain't curable, nor do I want it cured, man!

PS: I am allergic to cheenas using "Don't worry, be happy" as their shoutout. You'd be surprised at how many of them do so.

Update: Now you people can't say I'm a racist! I'm indiscriminate about the race of the people I don't like!

4 comments:

T said...

Tell me about it

But somehow, some guys find "perm hair"-chabo-s attractive, Nature of Man I must said

rojakrojak said...

see, the thing is, permed hair is NOT A PROBLEM, if it looks hot. but 99.99999999999% of these lians end up going for the Lian-perm. I think maybe because it's just in their nature to be lian.

on the other hand, i love my curly waves, i don't have to perm my hair to make it look hot. it's just a gift from god, y'know.

J said...

HAHAH love the screwed up faces of ur friend ptui
but yesh couldnt hve said it better myself
but i love amanda bynes laa she so pretty she so funny esp in what i like about u!

J said...

erm that last picture, the top looks very gross :S
chatting with u now man am i a multi tasker!

 
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